


Barnaby Brooks Jr. vs A Bottle of Cologne

by Fujiwara_no_Seimei



Category: Tiger & Bunny
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujiwara_no_Seimei/pseuds/Fujiwara_no_Seimei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barnaby's in a predicament.  The scent of Kotetsu's cologne turns him on.  In a bout of ill-timing usually reserved for someone like his partner, Barnaby's luck goes from bad to worse... to better... and then bad again?  He can't be sure.</p><p>Bless your ignorant soul, Kotetsu T. Kaburagi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You can't fault him.  It is a stupid looking word, after all.

This was not okay.

It was very, _very_ not okay, but it’s not like he could say anything about it.

“Here, Bunny,” Kotetsu said, leaning over Barnaby’s back to point to the computer screen, “there’s a type-o right here in the report.”  
Barnaby grit his teeth and pursed his lips to keep from sighing... or maybe screaming … he wasn’t sure which he wanted to do right now.

The scent of Kotetsu’s cologne made his knees weak. So it was a good thing he was sitting down.

“You... okay, Bunny?” Kotetsu said, leaning back- but not moving far away enough to remove the scent from Barnaby’s periphery. Barnaby found himself turning around, following it with his nose. When his eyes met Kotetsu’s, he shook his head.

“For the twentieth time, Kotetsu! That _is_ how you spell irreparable!”

“Really? Oh. Sorry,” the older man said. He shrugged, with a sheepish grin as he waddled away muttering "It just... looks wrong...like...no second 'i'? Really...?"

Barnaby sighed. He could finally breathe fresh air.

Now...

To do something about this erection.


	2. What is that thing hanging in the bottle, anyway?

The only thing worse than getting turned on by your coworker’s cologne at work was being turned on by your coworker’s cologne _in a public place_ , and _God damnit Kotetsu, why did you have to go and pick such a fucking popular scent to wear every day?_

Barnaby was standing stiff and biting his lip when he realized why he was feeling so edgy and hot while in a department store. It was because on either side of him were displays for that _stupid_ cologne in its _stupid_ bottle with that _stupid_... whateverthefuckitwas, _watchband_ or whatever floating in it. And everything smelled like Kotetsu, and now Barnaby’s ridiculously tight pants were a mixed blessing.

The bulge wasn’t actually that noticeable, but God was it uncomfortable.

 

...and the only thing that made him more uncomfortable than sidling into a bathroom stall and jerking himself off in a public bathroom in the fucking mall was the fact that minutes later he found himself back at the cologne display _seriously_ considering buying a bottle of the stuff because maybe he would actually enjoy masturbating to the scent in the privacy of his own home.

...but that was ridiculous. So he went home without it, cursing at everything that crossed his path with his eyes.


	3. What did you think was going to happen, Barnaby?

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby said, drawing in a particularly long breath as he leaned over Kotetsu’s shoulder, “there’s a type-o there.”  
Kotetsu wheeled around, forcing Barnaby off of his shoulder.  
“Bunny? What’s wrong with you? That’s how you spell antagonism. You _know_ that.”  
“Oh,” Barnaby said, completely unashamed. “Sorry.”   
With that, Barnaby shuffled off to the bathroom, leaving Kotetsu thoroughly confused at Barnaby’s sudden failure at spelling.

•••

Two days later, Barnaby wondered if, maybe, he had given in and purchased the damn bottle of cologne, he wouldn’t be faced with this particularly awkward dilemma right now. The dilemma being that Kotetsu had left his blazer on his chair after work, and God damned if Barnaby didn’t want to know how much it smelled like his partner’s cologne.

“Mr. Brooks, it’s half-past five,” the secretary said, peering up over her reading glasses. “Don’t work too hard, now.”  
Barnaby suppressed a nervous chuckle.  
“Right,” he said.  
He had to decide now. Would he be strong and walk right past Kotetsu’s desk, leaving the jacket there and not giving into this sick, _stupid_ temptation he had to bring it home and smell it?

Oh lord, no.

Even though the secretary wasn’t looking up at him, he couldn’t help but to feel like she knew exactly what he was doing, stealing his coworkers jacket, painfully un-non-chalantly, as he walked by and hastily shuffled himself out of the office with his paraphernalia under his arm.

•••

Once home, he threw away all pretenses of composure and threw himself back into his living room chair, holding the neck of the jacket into his face and inhaling.

 _Fuck._

Barnaby had realized now that the scent of the cologne alone was no match for the sheer erotic magic that was the smell of the cologne mixed with the scent of...well, Kotetsu himself.

Barnaby’s belt was being particularly stubborn tonight, which was maybe because he was trying to undo it with one hand because he didn’t want to stop pressing the jacket to his face with the other, but eventually frustration and the painful pressure against his erection won out and he pulled his belt and pants open with both hands.

“Shit~” Barnaby hissed when his hand finally wrapped around his length, warm and hard and God, this _smell_...

It was as good as he had hoped. Maybe he’d have to go into work early tomorrow to make sure to put the jacket back where he found it before Kotetsu got there, but the initial mortification with himself was so, SO, worth it, because right now, the orgasm that was building deep in the pit of his body was feeling so amazing, so _absolutely fantastic..._

Barnaby groaned into the collar of Kotetsu’s jacket, stroking himself roughly, foreskin rolling up and down the head and he fisted it. Barnaby inhaled hard, Kotetsu’s scent sweeping over him, invading his senses, making him dizzy. He could feel it coming, his panting breath making a wet spot on the silk lining of the jacket, the tightening of his balls as he pumped–

–and Barnaby _moaned_ as he came. It was perfect and fantastic and his vision turned white and he pumped himself through his climax, jerking still when it had passed and suddenly every sensation was too much, he was too sensitive, God, _Kotetsu..._

 

When his breath and vision returned to him, Barnaby rolled his head forward in his chair, felling heavier than it should.

His afterglow was short lived, though, because he was pretty sure that was a sizable streak of his own semen on the hem of his partner’s jacket.

God _damnit_ , Barnaby.


	4. Always a Quick Thinker.

This was clearly, _clearly_ a joke now. There was no other explanation.

Twenty years of a life focused on revenge for the murder of your parents does a good job of steeling a person, and Barnaby was rather good at keeping rational and cool, thinking things out, and all together avoiding out-of-control and embarrassing situations.

So how, exactly, when the phone began ringing, Barnaby ran out of the kitchen with Kotetsu’s wet jacket in his hand and hit the wrong button on the video phone, he just couldn’t be sure.

Because it just. Wasn’t. Right.

“Oi! Bunny!” Kotetsu said, voice big and face bright on his wall-sized screen. “Sorry to bother you, but I went back to the office to get my jacket and I didn’t...uh...”

Barnaby just sighed.

“That’s...my jacket, isn’t it?”  
“Kotetsu. I can explain.”  
“I’m...sure you can, Bunny. But I’ll just... I’ll wear a different blazer to the bar tonight.”  
“Right. Good,” Barnaby said, sounding like an idiot.  
“Bunny?” Kotetsu said, cautiously.  
“Kotetsu?”  
“Why is my jacket all wet?”  
“I spilled coffee on it on my way out of the office," Barnaby replied. "I took it home to try and wash it. I was in the middle of that when you called.”  
“Ah. I see,” Kotetsu said. Barnaby couldn’t tell if he was convinced.  
"Sorry about that," he apologized.  
“Sure, sure. Um. You...uh...want to come out with us tonight? Antonio and Nathan and I?”  
Barnaby shook his head. “Thank you, but I’m actually rather tired. Please excuse me.”

Barnaby’s hang up was rather abrupt, but it wasn't particularly out of character.

Barnaby draped the jacket over his chair, and took his own suggestion and went to bed.

He didn’t know it now, but he was going to need his sleep for what tomorrow was going to bring.


	5. In which you don't know who to feel more sorry for, really.

Since the jig was up anyway, Barnaby did not arrive to work any earlier than usual the next day. He entered the office as non-chalantly as he could muster, defiled-but-recently-cleaned jacket thrown over his arm.

Casually.

 _Totally_ casually.

And Barnaby did not doubt his charade at all, waltzing pass the secretary like everything was perfectly normal.

Not until Kotetsu grinned.  
It made Barnaby stumble, and made his face get hot. He smiled a weak little smile back at his partner, and held the coat out to him.  
“Sorry again,” Barnaby said. “It’s clean now.”  
Kotetsu took it from him and chuckled.

Oh _God._

Kotetsu looked over it, the grin on his face giving away the fact that Barnaby was about to be dragged around by a pretense Kotetsu found very entertaining.  
“You did a pretty good job getting something as dark as coffee out of this,” Kotetsu said, eyes gleaming up at Barnaby, who suddenly wanted nothing else but to...die. Quickly. In a fire.  
Barnaby swallowed hard.  
Kotetsu shot a grin over to the secretary, who just rolled her eyes.

 _Was it her? She must have told him...shit!_

“Kotetsu...I...”  
“It’s okay, Bunny,” Kotetsu said, laughing heartily now, throwing the coat back over his chair. “I know what’s going on. You don’t have to be embarrassed.”  
“I don't?” Barnaby said. This was a pretty...open-minded reaction to someone jerking off into your stolen clothes, for sure.  
“No, no. Maybe you should be a little embarrassed for the _excuse_ you tried on me last night. Honestly, we’ve been partners for over a year. I know you don’t drink coffee.”

Oh. Well.  
...that _was_ pretty embarrassing.

“Look, I got you something,” Kotetsu said as he gestured towards his partner’s desk, on which there was a gift box.

Barnaby was thoroughly confused. It was way too big to be cologne.

He sat down at his desk and gave a cautious glance at his partner.   
“Don’t worry! It’s safe! Jeez.”  
Barnaby carefully pulled up the lid. And folded inside, under thin sheets of tissue, was...

…a jacket identical to Kotetsu’s.

 _What._

“Kotetsu,” Barnaby said, voice flat.  
“No need to thank me! I got it in your size and everything. If I had known you liked the jacket enough to borrow it without asking, I would have gotten you one a long time ago!”

For the first time since Jake Martinez died, Barnaby wanted to cry with relief.

“Thanks, Kotetsu!” Barnaby said, brightly. This was good. Too good. It was a gift from God, really, that Kotetsu was so dense. Barnaby was not one to pray, but he might offer up just a little something before bed tonight, for sure.

“Any time, partner!” Kotetsu said, thoroughly pleased with himself.

•••

Barnaby, obviously, didn’t really like the jacket. But he slipped the thing over his shoulders anyway, trying it on out of politeness, before they left.

That was when he noticed.

It smelled like Kotetsu’s cologne.

And not just a little. For it to smell this strong, someone would have had to actually spray it directly on...

“‘Night, Bunny!” Kotetsu said with a grin, walking out of the office.

 

Barnaby didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.


	6. Omake: What Happened the Night Before...

_One night earlier..._

“Kotetsu! You’re late,” Antonio said, halfway through his first beer already. Nathan waved with his usual flourish.  
“Sorry,” Kotetsu said. “I left my blazer in the office.”  
Antonio looked him up and down as he took to the barstool next to him. “So where _is it_ , then?” he asked.  
“Ha, funny thing,” Kotetsu said, waving a hand at the bartender, who nodded back, knowing what he’d want to drink. “Bunny took it home. Said he’d... spilled coffee on it on his way out, and took it home to wash it.”  
“You don’t look like you believe that, honey,” Nathan said, propping his chin in his impeccably manicured hand.  
“Ha. Well. The thing is... Barnaby only drinks _tea_.”

Kotetsu recieved his beer graciously as his two companions froze. They exchanged curious glances with one another as Kotetsu took his first sip. Then a grin crept across Nathan’s face.

“Wow, he must have _really_ wanted to wear that jacket,” he said. His usual sickly-sweet tone masked his mischieviousness.

“ _What_?” Kotetsu and Antonio said at the same time.

“Oh, I _thought_ I saw him looking at that jacket in the Sternbild Mall the other day. He must have wanted to borrow it but didn’t know how to ask you.”  
“Ooooh!” Kotetsu said. “I get it! Boy. That makes a lot of sense!”

Antonio shot a glare at Nathan that seemed to say _are you fucking kidding me?_  
Nathan just winked.

“Ha! You know what?" Kotetsu said, "I’m gonna go get him one. He probably feels bad about getting caught, so I’ll get him one to show him that there’s no hard feelings.”  
“You go do that, sweetie,” Nathan said.  
Antonio wanted to throw up.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes. Wait for me!” Kotetsu said, taking off out of the bar. Luckily, the Sternbild Mall was just a couple of blocks away.

“Nathan?” Antonio said, cautiously, taking the final swig of his first, but not last, beer.  
“Antoni~o.”  
“Seriously?”  
“Oh, oh, _oh_...” Nathan tittered. “You _knew_ that was a lie, of course.”  
“Of course,” Antonio said. “But I still don’t see why Barnaby would be stealing his stupid suede old-man jacket.”  
Nathan tapped his nose.  
“ _What_?”  
“I saw Barnaby the other day, for sure. But he wasn’t looking at _jackets_.”  
“Get to it, Nathan,” Antonio said with a sigh. “What was he looking at?”  
“ _Cologne._ In a triangular bottle. With a chain inside.”  
“No.”  
“Yes!” Nathan squealed, clearly pleased with himself.  
“ _Kotetsu’s_ cologne?”  
Nathan nodded. “I know that scent. Kotetsu has a bottle of it in his locker. Barnaby was staring at the cologne display for _twenty minutes_ , Antonio.”  
“Oh my God. This is either hilarious or disgusting, I can’t decide,” he said, swigging down a sizable portion of Kotetsu’s abandoned beer.  
“Oh, the fun has _just started_ , darling,” Nathan said, sipping his wine and smiling a sharp, pink smile. "And it is _definitely_ hilarious."

Nathan had his cellphone out in a second, and Antonio just shook his head and ordered another drink.  
"Origami, sweetheart?" Nathan cooed. "I have an odd little ninja job for you. Could you do me a little favor...?"

•••

Kotetsu always stopped by the Hero TV gym in the morning before work, doing his regular morning workout, usually in the company of Keith, who didn’t know how to do anything _but_ work, the sweet dear.

There was a third hero in the building the next morning, though. Kotetsu and Keith would never know, because he slipped into and out of the locker room stealthily after they were both comfortably settled into their morning routine on their machines.

Kotetsu _did_ notice that the locker room smelled particularly of his cologne, though, after he finished and showered, adjusting the askew lid of the gift box he’d left on the bench.

Didn’t think much of it, though- he was too excited to give Barnaby his present.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Tiger & Bunny Anon Meme.


End file.
